I'm an a**hole

Okay... let me explain. I feel like I am aware of who my close friends are... I mean really good friends, people I would depend on in a crisis, would call if I needed a shoulder to cry on, would take a trip with, hell -would even let into my home. (This number is quite small). In fact, some people who were once friends are now no longer, I have no qualms with parting from people who are no good for my life. So this group of friends is quite protected and I do a thorough screening process before I am okay with allowing people to join this club. (It's not that I think I'm so great, it just is exhausting having bad friends.)
I'm diverting from my point. Soooo what has never occurred to me that someone would consider me a great close friend, when I don't feel the same. So this friend, let's call her "Barbara" has asked me to a part of a big event for her back in December. And in a moment of poor, very poor judgement, I happily said Yes! I will be a part of your big day. Later on - she told me I would be in a role of honor. It was at this moment I immediately knew I made a bad decision. So in the meantime, I have been a COMPLETE a-hole. I have not connected with the party, been basically MIA. Well fast forward to today, the big day is two months away. I have not purchased anything, talked to anyone, I have no idea what is going on.
What I need to do, is just break the news to "Barbara". I however can't think of how to do that. I feel horrible, and I know it will be disappointing, and I feel like a very bad person. I can't make this situation better and that is ticking me off! 

Until next time,
LNC

Wow... where have I been?

So since the last time I've made an entry we are in a new year, I have a new goddaughter, and a new attitude (a la Patti LaBelle) - okay that last one was a lie, but I couldn't think of anything else to put at the end of that sentence.  I feel like this blog has been made up of apologies - and that is no way to do a blog. But for real, how do bloggers, blog on the regular? I can't for the life of me figure out how they have the discipline to attend to a blog. At any rate, I'm not going to use this blog as a venue to make myself feel bad. I'm here now dammit! : )

Uhm so now I don't know what to say. Lol....

Ahhh. Well I will say that I'm looking forward to fully enjoying spring. The sun is shining more than it's raining so that's cool. That seems to be good for my spirits. I'm working on trying to get some big things happening in the workplace. I am excited to be the godmother of two beautiful and genius babies! I have been able to find a community of people that I enjoy, and allow me to be me and are about to take over the world....

So... that's it for now. I'm going to pace myself on this one (and work on be a little more frequent).

Until next time,
LNC